I Shall Be Released...

It seems I have met my match. No, not the love of my life match that I suppose we all long for. This woman seems to be a man-izer, if such a thing exists.

I will call her Sexy Woman. Sexy Woman and I have been seeing eachother for about 10 months now. Not all that long, but enough for some level of attachment to form between two people in an intimate relationship. But the attachment is one way. I've fallen for her, but it is unrequited.

After all my fooling around I suppose I deserve it. It hurts. I want her to want me, to see a life with me, but it is just not there.

She told me very early on that all of her relationships have lasted just one to two years. She says there have been seven. Not too many for a woman of forty one year. But over our time together, she has mentioned a few others that were much shorter term. It has me wondering.

It is unhealthy to obsess about your partners previous lovers. It only leads to feelings of insecurity or worse. But it is the way she talks about them that has me unsure. This one only did missionary style she will say. And that one, he taught me the pleasures of anal sex. And the next, well he really enjoyed it when I performed analingus on him. Sex is the focus of every relationship. It seems this is all a relationship is to her. This makes me sad. I thought we might have a life together, and it seems I am just her most recent lay.

Karma's a bitch.

It has been quite a long time since I posted. Many things have transpired wrt my divorce. The house was sold, and after a legal battle equity was split 50/50 (in spite of the fact that the 100K down payment was made by me). I was able to buy a modest home of my own. It's not pretty to look at, but there's also no one screaming at me when I get home at the end of the day. But there are no kids to greet me either. That part is the hardest to get used to.

STBX is still unemployed and as a result, the amount of support I send her is astronomical. It is very hard to make ends meet each month. This cant last though, STBX is running out of cash, so she'll need to work. At least I think she will. Then support will go down, and I may actually be able to save a little each month for my kids college.

On the relationship front, I've given up on dating as many women as I can, it's just too exhausting, especially since I care for my kids about 40% of the time. I met a nice woman, and every other weekend we spend the weekend together. For now, this is enough for both of us, but I wonder if this will be sustainable. She's always been single and doesn't know a lot about raising kids. Me, the kids are my life. Time will tell if it will last.

I have way too much in my hands with trying to get to the end of this divorce. That's it for now...

A lot has gone down since I last posted. There have been several flings, one failed relationship, and many, many drunken nights. Ain't divorce grand. More to come...

I sometimes wonder if it is normal to be so horny all of the time. Every woman I see that is remotely attractive causes such naughty thoughts to run through my mind. I know it is not possible to have sex with any woman I want, whenever I want, but these days that is what I want!

Which brings me to the topic of this posting, lavalife This is a dating site ala match.com or yahoo personals but with a twist. It has a section called Intimate Encounters that is for people who want to have meet for casual affairs rather than to establish a relationship. It's just what I need!

I spent several hours surfing the site today and sent a bunch of those free "winks". We'll see if anyone bites. If not, I may need to pony up some cash to send messages to horny gals.

Speaking of horny gals, I have been talking to Horny Woman again. She keeps trying to suck me into a relationship, but I have been firm with her, I am only looking for fun. Her defense is weakening. Next week we will go out for drinks. The odds that we end up back at her place in the sack are better than the Pats winning the Superbowl (which is going to happen too).

Stay tuned for a post-game report :)

Divorce sucks.

After years of screaming I finally left. Big mistake. Now the STBX is sitting in the house that I paid for and refuses to sell it so we can split the equity. Worse, she lost her job, and is not looking for another. While she stays in the house, our life savings is dwindling down to almost nothing. She doesn't seem to care. I guess when it is all gone she may finally come to her senses. Maybe not.

But this is one of the reasons I left. Reckless spending. STBX drained the kids college savings on spending sprees. Man she is such an idiot.

Not happy today...

Every time I get close to a woman, or I should say I let a woman get close to me, something strange happens. I lose interest. Things with Career Woman are fine. I like most everything about her. Her age does bother me a bit. She is a year older than me. But that is about all that is not perfect. Yet my eyes are drifting yet again.

I met someone new and had lunch with her today. This one is most unusual, I think I will call her Horny Woman. Apparently she is attracted to me, or maybe is just very horny. She has been very forward with me. After having met just one time, and exchanging a few emails, she sent me the following response to the question "how are you today?"

Horny Woman's response:

"I need some one to F... me badly today......excuse me for the language."

I've been very honest with her regarding my intentions. I just want to play. She says she usually waits for some level of seriousness in a relationship before becoming intimate, but can make an exception in my case. Lucky me. Next Monday is tentatively the day. I can't wait. I bet she will be wild :)

Fucking blogger!

I had a good post all written and it just disappeared. Damn!

Here is the readers digest version.

I want to finalize the divorce this year.

I want STBX to sell the house so I can get cash.

I want to buy a place of my own.

Things with Career Woman are back on track.

Happy today.